Glenn Greenwald Only Drinks Wine at Least 30 Years Younger Than He Is

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The World’s Only Ethical Journalist, Glenn Greenwald, told Russian Marionet Magazine in a new interview that he’s “still very committed to smugly pointing out the lies and propaganda of liberal journalists” while appearing on Tucker Carlson’s show. Greenwald indicated that he doesn’t see any irony in that fact, though he did admit that he usually has something like the ass-end of an autocratic dictator in his face, obstructing his view.

In one segment of the interview, Greenwald was asked if he has any vices. Greenwald admitted that he likes to drink wine. However, not just any wine. Glenn Greenwald only drinks wines that were bottled at least thirty years after he was born.

“It’s just a thing about me, I guess. I only put things to my lips if they’re at least thirty years younger than me. What can you say? I like them young,” Greenwald explained. “Wines. I mean wines. I like wines young. Well, and romantic partners. But that’s it, okay?”

During the interview, Greenwald was also asked if he’d like to re-assess the invasion of Ukraine by Russia. For weeks, Greenwald assured the public that U.S. warnings of the planned invasion were overblown and false. Greenwald has still yet to vocally condemn the savage barbarism of the Russian troops who have slaughtered hundreds, if not thousands, of civilians.

“Nah, I’m good. I don’t want to add any fuel to the fires of American imperialism by condemning Russian imperialism! Let’s not be stupid. And at any rate,” Greenwald concluded, “I still haven’t seen enough evidence. Maybe Russia’s invasion of Ukraine counts as invading Ukraine, maybe it doesn’t. Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s a lovely young thing I need to put in my mouth, and then I’m going to have a nice glass of 2000 Port.”


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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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