Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

DeSantis Bans Minors from Attending Scottish Highland Games

Each year, all over America, people partake in the Scottish Highland...

Dominion Reveals Hannity, Ingraham, Carlson Texted About No Longer Liking Taste of Trump’s D

This week newly revealed court filings in the Dominion lawsuit against...

Musk Will Start Charging Twitter Users $500 to Block Him

On Super Bowl Sunday, alt-right billionaire plutocrat Elon Musk was extremely...

DeSantis Bars Florida’s Kids From Watching Monty Python, Kids in the Hall

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is not done fighting the forces of...

Mike Pence: “I Will Not Testify, But Please Keep Waving Your Subpoenas In My Face!”

While speaking to a convention of pro-life stay-at-home moms this weekend,...

Hawley Proposes Banning Kids from Social Media Until They’ve Dated Matt Gaetz

Sen. Josh Hawley (Q-MO), who is the current record holder in...

Trump: “Ain’t Nobody Stormin’ the Capitol If Nikki Haley Loses!”

Today, on Valentine's Day, former Gov. Nikki Haley (Q-SC) announced that...

Jesus Christ Wonders How Many Poor People You Can Feed for Two Super Bowl Ads

Today, Jesus Hubert Christ held his weekly heavenly press conference. One...

DeSantis Bans Talking About Super Bowl LVII Halftime Show in the Classroom

Singer Rihanna was the marquee star of yesterday's Super Bowl LVII...