Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Cruz Says He’ll Be Trump’s Prison Bitch If No One Else Will

Senator Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) has taken to social media in the...

DeSantis Wants All Black Spaces on Roulette Wheels in Florida Made White

"The last thing we want is some white woman walking into...

Hillary Clinton Circling Mar-A-Lago Shouting “Lock Him up!”

"I told Mr. Trump that quite frankly Ms. Clinton has earned...

How Dare They Arrest Trump Like They’d Arrest Everyone Else They Believe Broke the Law?

The following editorial was written by Dustin Pewpsin, a right-wing commentator...

Trump Orders “Beautiful MAGA Army” to Ready Their Rascal Scooters for a Jail Break

Former President Trump is, according to several sources at Mar-A-Lago, really...

Three Top Attorneys Have Already Offered to Represent Trump for Free

The entire MAGA movement is on pins and needles. The other...

Legal Experts Sharply Divided on Whether Trump Will Get Conjugal Visits With Ivanka

As the country braces for a potential arrest of former President...

MTG Claims She Saw Leprechauns Planting Pots of Gold Near Southern Border

Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) told the House Subcommittee on Racist...

Trump Tells Ivanka He’s Going to Pinch Her No Matter How Much Green She’s Wearing

Today is St. Patrick's Day, and nobody knows that better than...

Mexico Offers to Pay to Teach MTG What Real Bombs Look Like

The Government of Mexico officially offered to give Rep. Marjorie Taylor...