James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...
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Bob Mueller Apologizes to Country for His Coup’s Last Minute Decision to Clear Trump of Collusion Instead

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Critics of President Donald Trump have lambasted him for he continues...

Kirstjen Nielsen Filling Out Employment Application At On The Border Mexican Grill

GOLD HILLS, VIRGINIA -- Former Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen will be...

Sanctuary Cities to Move Illegal Immigrants Dumped on Them by The White House to Trump Resorts

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JJ Abrams Reveals Every Character Dead by End of “The Rise of Skywalker”

During the annual Star Wars Celebration, this year held in Chicago, the title of...

Trump Charity Accused of Stealing Donations Meant for Kids With Windmill Cancer

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The Trump Pediatric Windmill Cancer Foundation has been formally...

7 Signs Your Cat Wants to Get Baked and Watch “Queer Eye” With You

For years, zoologists and veterinarians have known but not understood a curious fact about...

Texas Democrat Introduces Bill That Would Sentence Masturbating Men to Death

AUSTIN, TEXAS -- Republican lawmakers in the State of Texas are trying to get...

Barr Investigating If Obama Administration Forced Trump to Be Lifelong Lying Conman and Racist Idiot

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Earlier this year, during Senate testimony, William Barr -- Attorney General...

Trump Asks Ben Carson if He’s ‘Friends With’ the Black Hole in NASA’S Picture

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Americans Disappointed To Find Out Trump Won’t Be On Falcon Heavy Launch

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Tomi Lahren Says NASA’s Black Hole Picture is ‘Reverse Racism’ Because #AllHolesMatter

VALLE INSÍPIDO, CALIFORNIA -- Fox News contributing racist Tomahawk Lahren does not like black...

NASA Releases Amazing First Ever Pictures of a Black Hole

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- NASA sent several hundred media outlets the first ever pictures of...

Latest articles

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...