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James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler
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Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are pretty much the same thing. I mean, if they weren't, wouldn't all the conservatives who were...raising alarms about the lack of free speech on college campuses be freaking out about...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...
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MAGA News

Hawley Signals Support for Gaetz and Boebert Stopping Peaceful Transfer of Power to McCarthy

On his way into pretending to work in the U.S. Senate today, Senator Josh...
MAGA News

Rep. George Santos Claims He Cured Cancer Right Before Being Sworn Into Office

Rep. George Santos (R-NY) is one of the newest members of the House of...
MAGA News

Gaetz Wants House Republicans to Make Trump’s Balls Next Speaker

Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) is working hard behind the scenes to convince his fellow...
MAGA News

January 6th Committee Recommends DOJ Charge Trump With ‘Being a Li’l Crybaby Bitch’

Yesterday, the January 6th Special Select Committee met for the final time and issued...
Tech

Mike Lindell Says He Can Prove Musk Won Twitter Poll Demanding He Step Down as CEO

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell told a Newsmax host today that he has "irrefutable-ish proof-like...
The Democrats

Sinema and Gabbard Form The Desperate to Stay Relevant Party

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Less than twelve hours after announcing that she had left the...
The Democrats

Sinema Congratulates Fellow Dems on Senate Majority She Will Work with GOP to Thwart

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Perhaps nobody is as excited that her fellow Democrats will hold...
MAGA News

Local Domestic Terrorist Really Wants You To See Hunter Biden’s Dick

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congresspony Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) recently told reporters in the nation's...
Religion

God Apologizes For Not Telling Everyone About His Great Replacement Project Sooner

After a white supremacist gunman's killing spree in Buffalo, New York over the weekend...
The Bible Belt

Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now...
Conservative Media

D’Souza’s Documentary Claims 6 Trillion People Stuffed Ballots With Obama’s Birth Certificate

Right-wing media commentator, convicted felon, and manure magnate Dinesh D'Souza has a new documentary,...
Women's Rights

“Here’s Why Your Uterus Belongs to Those Weird Jesus Freak Neighbors” by Amy Coney Barrett

The following editorial was submitted by Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney OfJesse Barrett. The...
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Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)