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U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
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Economy

Trump Worries ‘Obama’s Stock Market Crash’ Will Tank His Economy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump told the American people today on the front...
Economy

Kellyanne Conway: “The Market is Alternatively Booming Because Investors Are Alternatively Confident in Us”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After one of its most volatile weeks since the Great Recession...
MAGA News

Trump: Coronavirus Part of Deep State Plot to Tank the Stock Market and Hurt His Re-Election Chances

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. stock market is having its worst week since the...
Economy

Trump Issues Executive Order for Dow Jones to Work Like Golf Scores

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As the markets opened today, the Dow Jones Industrial average opened...
Economy

Trump Praises Dow’s “Historic Alternative Spike”

It was quite a bigly one, too!

Latest articles

U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)