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I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
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5 Signs You’re Oppressed and Not Just Being Asked to Skip Sunbathing So Humanity Survives a Pandemic

As the nation, and indeed the planet, attempts to grapple with how to recover...

Local Militia Group Preparing to Liberate Chick-Fil-A Dining Room From Coronavirus Lockdown

SISTER BANGER, KENTUCKY -- They don't know exactly when, but the members of Kentucky's...

Protesters Demand Right to Congregate During Zombie Outbreak

ROMERO, MICHIGAN -- A group of about three hundred took to their local city...

Historians Unearth Draft of Famous Patrick Henry ‘Give Me Retail Shopping and Give Me Death’ Speech

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Researchers at the National Academy of History and Past Events announced...

Local Idiots Demand Right to Die for Retail Commerce

DUMBERG, OHIO -- The village idiots of a town in Ohio stormed their town's...

Local Cannibal Experiencing COVID-19 Panic

LAKE MANGEUR  D'HOMME, MINNESOTA -- Terry Homocomedenti wasn't really too nervous about the novel...

President Trump Grateful Coronavirus Self-Quarantine Doesn’t Preclude Him From ‘Intimate Times’ With The Ones He Loves

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump told Americans watching a Fox News town hall on...

CDC Suggests ‘Electoral Distancing’ From Trump Administration

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Over the past week and a half, Americans were introduced to...

7 Fun Ways to Avoid Selling Your Kids to the Circus During Their School’s Coronavirus Quarantine

All across the country, schools are closing down in order to slow the rate...

Poll: 70% of Americans Believe Trump Should Self-Quarantine in Hole Six Feet Underground

The results of a new poll, released just today, indicate that seven out of...

Man Buys All of Store’s Toilet Paper and Canned Chili to Survive Coronavirus Quarantine

MIERDALIQUIDA VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- A grocery store on Main Street has reported that one...

Quarantined Cruise Passenger Says Ship Talent Show ‘Far Worse’ Than Coronavirus Outbreak

ST. FRANK, CALIFORNIA -- When she boarded the Queen's Line cruise liner in Hawaii,...

Latest articles

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...