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Criminal Justice
I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity
Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...
April 26, 2024
Tech
You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck
The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
April 24, 2024
Science & Medicine
5 Signs You’re Oppressed and Not Just Being Asked to Skip Sunbathing So Humanity Survives a Pandemic
As the nation, and indeed the planet, attempts to grapple with how to recover...
May 6, 2020
Food and Dining
Local Militia Group Preparing to Liberate Chick-Fil-A Dining Room From Coronavirus Lockdown
SISTER BANGER, KENTUCKY -- They don't know exactly when, but the members of Kentucky's...
May 4, 2020
Science & Medicine
Protesters Demand Right to Congregate During Zombie Outbreak
ROMERO, MICHIGAN -- A group of about three hundred took to their local city...
April 28, 2020
Economy
Historians Unearth Draft of Famous Patrick Henry ‘Give Me Retail Shopping and Give Me Death’ Speech
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Researchers at the National Academy of History and Past Events announced...
April 20, 2020
Business
Local Idiots Demand Right to Die for Retail Commerce
DUMBERG, OHIO -- The village idiots of a town in Ohio stormed their town's...
April 17, 2020
Science & Medicine
Local Cannibal Experiencing COVID-19 Panic
LAKE MANGEUR D'HOMME, MINNESOTA -- Terry Homocomedenti wasn't really too nervous about the novel...
March 25, 2020
MAGA News
President Trump Grateful Coronavirus Self-Quarantine Doesn’t Preclude Him From ‘Intimate Times’ With The Ones He Loves
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump told Americans watching a Fox News town hall on...
March 24, 2020
MAGA News
CDC Suggests ‘Electoral Distancing’ From Trump Administration
ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Over the past week and a half, Americans were introduced to...
March 20, 2020
Science & Medicine
7 Fun Ways to Avoid Selling Your Kids to the Circus During Their School’s Coronavirus Quarantine
All across the country, schools are closing down in order to slow the rate...
March 17, 2020
MAGA News
Poll: 70% of Americans Believe Trump Should Self-Quarantine in Hole Six Feet Underground
The results of a new poll, released just today, indicate that seven out of...
March 14, 2020
Science & Medicine
Man Buys All of Store’s Toilet Paper and Canned Chili to Survive Coronavirus Quarantine
MIERDALIQUIDA VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- A grocery store on Main Street has reported that one...
March 10, 2020
Science & Medicine
Quarantined Cruise Passenger Says Ship Talent Show ‘Far Worse’ Than Coronavirus Outbreak
ST. FRANK, CALIFORNIA -- When she boarded the Queen's Line cruise liner in Hawaii,...
March 7, 2020
Latest articles
Criminal Justice
I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity
Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...
April 26, 2024
Tech
You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck
The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
April 24, 2024
Arts & Entertainment
A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me
Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
April 19, 2024
Criminal Justice
Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials
"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
April 17, 2024
