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Criminal Justice
Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?
"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
May 17, 2024
U.S. Politics
A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden
"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
May 15, 2024
Criminal Justice
Convicted Killer Set Free After Showing Up To Sentencing in a Blue Shirt and Badge
FORT ACAB, TENNESSEE -- A man convicted of first degree murder was unexpectedly released...
September 14, 2020
Criminal Justice
If He Can’t Murder Whoever He Wants, Whenever He Wants, You’re On Your Own, Rape Victims
He's a hero. Everyone he ever meets tells him he's a hero. So why...
June 23, 2020
Criminal Justice
Police Union Suggests Banning Camera Phones Would Eliminate Brutality and Excessive Force
LA VALLE DE PUERCA, CALIFORNIA -- The United National Fraternity of Law Enforcement, one...
June 18, 2020
Lifestyle
Cop Would Rather Resign and Only Beat His Wife If He Can’t Have a Tank and Machine Gun At Work
KEITEL, MINNESOTA -- Lt. Chad Jughedd is "about as pissed off" as he's ever...
June 9, 2020
MAGA News
2003 Republicans Want U.S. Military to Liberate U.S. From 2020 Republicans
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A delegation of elected Republicans from the year 2003 appeared on...
June 5, 2020
Criminal Justice
Nation’s Guns Afraid They’re Getting a Bad Reputation from Trigger-Happy Cops
A recent poll has shown that 87% of the guns surveyed in the United...
June 4, 2020
Criminal Justice
Local Cop Will Stop Beating the Fuck Out of You As Soon as You Stop Resisting the Beating
St. EMMETTILL, ILLINOIS -- This hero with a badge will stop beating the living...
June 3, 2020
Conservative Media
Tomi Lahren to Release List of Acceptable Ways for Black People to Protest Abuse
BROKE WIND MOUNTAIN, CALIFORNIA -- From a secluded cabin in the mountains of Southern...
May 29, 2020
Lifestyle
White Guy Annoyed Black Community Won’t Listen To His Advice About Problems He Says They Don’t Have
PAS D'EMPATHIE, CONNECTICUT -- Matthew Palumbozo is 26, white, and extremely confident he knows...
August 3, 2019
Sports
Eagles Will Join Obama For Backyard BBQ
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA -- President Donald Trump has officially disinvited the Philadelphia Eagles football team...
June 5, 2018
Sports
Furious Trump Demands American Curlers Take Their Shots Standing Upright
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House have reported that over the weekend,...
February 12, 2018
Criminal Justice
Cop Stops Beating Black Man Long Enough to Agree With Trump That NFL Players Are Disrespectful
"What are they even protesting, anyway?"
October 27, 2017
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Latest articles
Criminal Justice
Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?
"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
May 17, 2024
U.S. Politics
A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden
"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
May 15, 2024
Criminal Justice
I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels
"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
May 10, 2024
Criminal Justice
Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?
"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
May 8, 2024
