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Matt Gaetz

Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
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Tech

Gaetz Wants First Amendment Expanded to Protect Facebook Accounts and Trafficking Minors

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, Facebook's Oversight Board gave the social media titan the...
MAGA News

Matt Gaetz Can’t Believe Q Didn’t Tell Him Matt Gaetz is a Sex Trafficker

WHORELAND-O, FLORIDA -- Rep. Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) may or may not have very much...
Business

Matt Gaetz Won’t Be Subway’s New Spokesperson After All

MILFORD, CONNECTICUT -- As of just three weeks ago, Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) was...
Lifestyle

Trump Confused by Gaetz Paying Someone BEFORE They Had Sex With Him

"I usually gotta cut them a six figure check after we're done so they don't tell anyone how small it is."
The Bible Belt

Roy Moore and Matt Gaetz Announce 2024 Run as President and VP

"You know us; we like to get in there as early as possible."
MAGA News

Gaetz: “Every Fetus Deserves a Fighting Chance to Become My Sex Object In 17 Years”

While the scandal surrounding him may not be showing any signs of subsiding just...
MAGA News

Gaetz Will Deliver Commencement Address for Trump High School’s 2021 Graduating Class

LAKE MORON, FLORIDA -- Despite a recent scandal that has yet to resolve itself,...
Tech

Republican Party Developing Its Own App for Sex Payments

The Republican Party has begun work on developing its own proprietary payment app, which...
MAGA News

Al Franken Offers to Fill-In for Gaetz While He Figures Out That Whole Sex Trafficking Thing

MINNESOTA -- Former Senator Al Franken is reportedly open to taking over embattled Florida...
Conservative Media

Gaetz to Play Woody Allen in New Biopic

Gaetz released a statement thanking Epstein Pictures for the gig, and promising to put his "blood, sweat, tears, and genitals into the role."
Science & Medicine

Matt Gaetz Wanted to Catch COVID-17 Instead

Last year, Matt Gaetz contracted the COVID-19 virus after mocking prevention efforts, but he was hoping he'd get a different variant.
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton’s Been Circling Matt Gaetz Home and Shouting ‘Lock Him Up!’

LAKE EPSTEIN, FLORIDA -- Qongressman Matt Gaetz may be in for a rough time...
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Latest articles

Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...
Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)