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Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
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Why Women Can’t Resist Steve Bannon

Washington, D.C. -- There's something about Donald Trump's former Chief Strategist that women can't...

MAGA Supporter Unable to Read Trump Tweet on Bible Literacy in Schools

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- For years, Jethro Bohiggins has politely screamed in people's...

Muppet Caravan Headed Towards Sesame Street

New York, NY -- Throwing their hat into Caravan craze, childhood heroes the Muppets...

Hillary Clinton Leaves Voicemail for Roger Stone Apologizing That Her Emails Got Him Locked Up

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton left a voicemail...

White House Doctors Unsure When Pelosi’s Foot Can Be Removed from Trump’s Rectum

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, White House medical staff is still...

Hillary Clinton Circling Home of Roger Stone Chanting, ‘Lock Him Up!’

FLORIDA -- In the pre-dawn hours this morning, the FBI raided Roger Stone --...

Klansman Doesn’t Want You Judging His Son Just Because He Wears a White Hood

BEDFORD FORREST, KENTUCKY -- In the green, lush hills of his Kentucky hometown, Bart...

White House Requests Celebratory McNugget Dipping Sauce Lists from Rams and Patriots

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Trump administration sent a letter addressed to both the Los...

Trump: Telling Sarah Huckabee Sanders Not to Give Briefings ‘Only Way to Keep Her From Lying’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, President Donald Trump drew criticism when he announced via...

Transgender Afghanistan Vet Hopes Trump’s Bone Spurs Aren’t Hurting Him Anymore

STONE HILL, KENTUCKY -- Lt. Michael Sabara was born Christina Sabara, and he served...

Trump Worried Giuliani is the Smocking Gun

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Everyone on the Hill seems to be trying to parse what...

Border Prayer Rugs Blamed on Fake El Paso Flea Market

El Paso, TX -- President Trump tweeted earlier this week that Islamic prayer rugs...

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Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....