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Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
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MAGA News

Jim Jordan Won’t Admit the Election Wasn’t Stolen or That Trump’s Balls Don’t Taste Like Candy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There are few in Congress more fiercely loyal to former President...
MAGA News

Trump Tells Followers to Renounce Their Citizenship and Leave America if ‘They Don’t ‘Fix 2020’

FART BREATH, IOWA -- Standing on a stage in front of a cornfield, with...
U.S. Politics

Arizona Audit Reveals Joe Biden is Still and Will Remain President

Today, the Arizona Senate, under control of Republicans, held a hearing on the audit...
Religion

3 Ways to Tell If You’re in a Cult or Believe in a Vast Electoral Conspiracy Without Evidence For Another Reason

Are you in a cult? Before you answer that, stop and really think it over. MORE:...
MAGA News

Trump Campaign Legal Team to Ask Supreme Court to Set Aside Election, Constitution, Democracy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- His options are dwindling. Time is running out. The votes have...
MAGA News

Gaetz Says He Has Proof of Deep State Coup Against Trump Enlisting 80 Million American Voters

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One of the nation's most accomplished functional alcoholics says he has...
U.S. Politics

A Handy Guide for Determining How Many of the Votes to Count in a Close Election

Democracy, so confusing, am I right? There are so many intricate levels to running...
MAGA News

Trump: “All The Voices In My Head Agree With Me That The Election Will Be Rigged!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's one of the least well-kept secrets in D.C. -- President...
MAGA News

Devin Nunes Questions Founders’ Motives for Not Allowing Presidents to Delay Elections

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Can the President of the United States of America, with all...
MAGA News

Trump Warns His Enemies Not To Interfere In 2020 Election By Voting For The Democrat

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though there are still several months left before the primary season...
U.S. Politics

Bloomberg: “I Paid Broads Like They Were As Good at Their Jobs As Men”

GOLD VALLEY, UTAH -- Democratic presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg has been dumping millions of...
Lifestyle

Mike Pence Keeps Writing “1819” On All His Checks And Policy Proposals

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- High Priest Reverend Pastor Vice President Mike Pence is like any...
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Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)