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Trump Touts Rising Approval Ratings Among White Conservative Christian Middle Aged Men Named Jack...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The entire time President Donald Trump has been in office, his Gallup approval rating has never reached 50%.
One time, just days...
Trump To Rebuild Infrastructure By Sucking Own Dick In Front Of Ohio Construction Workers...
AIR FORCE ONE -- On his way back to the nation's capital after delivering a long-winded, winding, often times unfocused speech to tout his...
Laura Ingraham Opens Up About The Diarrhea Where Her Heart, Soul, Mind Are Supposed...
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Yesterday, Fox News and syndicated talk radio host Laura Ingraham took to Twitter to mock David Hogg, a survivor...
Trump Says He’ll Have Mexican American Soldiers Pay For His Southern Wall
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During the 2016 presidential campaign, one of now President Trump's most important promises to his base was the construction of a...
Rick Santorum’s Froth Levels Critical After Meltdown Over March For Our Lives
COAL HOLE, PENNSYLVANIA -- First responders and medical professionals in the Keystone State are reporting that one of their residents is recovering after being...
Transgender Recruit Assures Commander In Chief She Has No Bone Spurs
RILEY, VIRGINIA -- For the last six months, 19 year old Kristine Mullins has been preparing herself for her life in the U.S. Army....
Betsy DeVos Not Sure How To Arm Teachers That Already Have Two
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On Valentine's Day this year, a gunman attacked Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida.
Armed with a semi-automatic rifle, he...
Trump Asks The President Of Texas To Address Austin Bomber
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, authorities in Texas say that a fifth bomb bound for Austin exploded.
This time, however, marks the first bomb that...
Trump Recuses Himself From Future Clinton Investigations Due To Donations To ‘Crooked Hillary’s’ Campaigns
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump told a stunned looking group of reporters from InfoWars and Breitbart in the Oval Office that...
CDC Reports 65% Fewer “Happy Holidays” Related Heart Attacks This Christmas Weekend
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump declared victory for the forces of Merry Christmas in the decades-long War on Christmas this past weekend.
In a...
