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Agrabah Preemptively Strikes Pearl Harbor

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After nearly 50% of poll respondents said they'd support a U.S. bombing campaign there, Agrabah launches its own assault on America.

Carly Fiorina: I Know Where Luke Is In The New “Star Wars” Movie

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Does Carly Fiorina know something every Star Wars fan is dying to know?

Ted Cruz: Mars Water Supply Proves Girls Go To Jupiter to Get More Stupider

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There's water on Mars and Sen. Ted Cruz believes it means something universal about life itself.

NRA VP Wayne LaPierre’s Statement on Louisiana Theater Shooting

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NRA Executive VP Wayne LaPierre has some thoughts on the Lafayette shooting.

Obama Gun Confiscation Count: Week #413

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When will Obama stop this reign of terror?!

5 Things Ted Cruz Hated About the “Star Wars” Trailer

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Senator Ted Cruz tells The Political Garbage Chute five things he did NOT like about the new Star Wars trailer.

Sen. Ted Cruz: Any ‘Hidden’ Planets in Our Solar System Belong Solely to U.S.

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Scientists believe there may be two planets "hiding" in our solar system, and Senator Ted Cruz is already claiming exclusive dominion over them for the U.S.

Like the Rest of Us, God Hated Fred Phelps — A Political Garbage Chute...

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We do not mourn for Fred Phelps. We dance upon his grave.