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Pentagon UFO Program Makes Trump Demand Wall Be 70 Miles High
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump broke his silence on the Pentagon's top secret, multi-billion dollar mission to investigate UFOs this morning.
Last week, The New...
Afghanistan War Anxious to Turn 18 So It Can Enlist and Fight in Itself
In just a couple years, our little Afghanistan War will be all growns-up and potentially enlisted in the armed forces to serve in itself.
Ted Cruz To Propose Changing The Spelling of ‘Science’ to ‘J-E-S-U-S’
Ted Cruz is the new chair of the Senate committee that handles science and space research, policy and budgeting, and his proposed law will make quite the splash.
Prospective Immigrant Shows Off Two English Words He Learned Just For Stephen Miller
This prospective Syrian immigrant doesn't speak a lot of English just yet, but he speaks just enough for his point to come shining through.
Ted Nugent Says He’s ‘Leading by Example’ and Folds, Puts Away “Lock That C*nt...
Outspoken conservative rocker Ted Nugent has decided that the shooting of Steve Scalise means he must extend an olive branch to libtards.
Trump Calls William Shatner and Congratulates Him on 40 Years of Star Wars
The iconic film Star Wars: A New Hope celebrates its 40th Anniversary today, and the president wanted to congratulate one of its stars.
Jabba the Ailes Found Dead With Possible Signs of Strangulation
Bo shooda! Jabba the Ailes is dead, and Imperial forces suspect foul play.
Local Republican Loves Trumpcare Because It’s A ‘Free Market Death Panel’
A small town Republican has fallen in love with Trumpcare because he sees it as free market eugenics.
City of Cleveland Reports Dumpster Shortage While Republican Convention Is In town
"All the dumpsters in the world could not contain the cavalcade of confounding conservative craziness and chicanery."
Ohio Republican Wants to Create Uterine Registry
One Republican says a new proposed law in Ohio that would force women who have abortions or miscarriages to bury or cremate the fetus doesn't go far enough.
