DeSantis Bans Depictions of Nude Baby Jesus in Florida

Published on

Just hours after a Tallahassee school principal was fired because parents complained their children were exposed to one of the most famous statues in human history, Governor Ron DeSantis has used that incident as justification to ban any and all depictions of a nude Baby Jesus in the Sunshine state.

At Tallahassee Classical School this week, principal Hope Carrasquilla was ousted when some parents took offense to their child seeing images of Michelangelo’s David. An argument could be reasonably made that David is the most recognizable statue on the face of the planet. The subject of the statue is a boy the Bible says slayed a giant with just his sling and some rocks, and who eventually went on to become King David of Israel. At a press event this morning, DeSantis announced that he was using Carrasquilla’s firing as the inspiration to sign a new executive order.

RELATED: DeSantis Wants All Black Spaces on Roulette Wheels in Florida Made White

Starting Monday, all depictions of the Baby Jesus within Florida’s state lines must show him wearing “some kind of clothing,” according to the new order. We spoke to Jeremy Estupidoputo, a press officer for the DeSantis administration, about the governor’s latest attack on free expression in Florida.

“Governor DeSantis is laser focused on the issues that need the most attention in his constituents’ lives,” Estupidoputo told us. “Not inflation, opiate addiction, or anything like that, though. The governor knows what people need most is to have their kids protected from inappropriate content.”

Mr. Estupidoputo told us that Governor DeSantis believes there is a commonality between images of the Baby Jesus and in Michelangelo’s David which justify his edict.

“Both King David and the Baby Jesus are characters in the Bible. And the Bible is the only book that has blanket approval from the governor’s office to be on school shelves,” Estupidoputo explained. “Therefore, we have a duty to make sure that everything in and related to the Bible be above board, and family-friendly. That’s why Governor DeSantis wants David to put on a loin cloth, and Baby Jesus to get a diaper on.”

RELATED: Disney Tells DeSantis They’ll Get Tough on Groomers and Bans Evangelical Christians From Park

@jamboschlarmbo

♬ original sound – James Schlarmann – James Schlarmann


Follow James: PostTikTokTwitterInstagramFacebook

Latest articles

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity...

Once I Learned to Read, I Realized The Left Actually Can and Does Meme

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and Trump White House official Dustin...

God Told Me Oklahoma Kids Will Be ‘Stupid as Fuck’ After the Bible is Taught in Schools

"...do they really think it covers me in glory to have a bunch of...

Someone Accidentally Sent Me a Copy of The Biden/Trump Debate Questions

Don't ask me how it happened, but it would appear that someone at CNN...