Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Pushed FDA to ‘Just Say Big Macs Make You Skinnier’

With each passing day, the American public finds out a little...

Satan Issues Mask Mandate for Unvaccinated MAGAs

HELL, ETERNITY -- Bob "Satan" McGee has issued a new mask...

Pro-Life Republican Against Life Saving Vaccines and Masks

IDIOTSBERG, TENNESSEE -- Sam Bedford has been what he calls a...

Biden Administration Working With Local Churches and Klan Chapters to Get MAGAs Vaccinated

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Getting more Americans vaccinated against COVID-19 and its...

Boebert: “Americans Don’t Need Vaccines Because The Second Amendment Already Protects Them”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congresswoman Lauren Boebert (Q-CO) told a group of...

Charlie Kirk Wins Gold Medal for Having a Terrifyingly Small Face on a Hilariously Giant Head

Right-wing provocateur Charlie Kirk made waves today when he lashed out...

Unathletic Traitor Has Some Thoughts to Share on Simone Biles

MT. DICKHOLE, WEST VIRGINIA -- 48-year-old Doug Palumbo is not what...