Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Man Sitting on Whoopie Cushion Briefly Worries Boebert’s Staff That Her Skull Had Popped

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Aides and staffers rushed to her side, and...

Rittenhouse Judge Instructs Jurors to Plug Ears, Shout ‘La La La’ During Prosecution’s Closing

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- As prosecutors in the Kyle Rittenhouse trial present...

Trump Announces Next MAGA Rally Will Be Held in Rittenhouse Courtroom

FARTS-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- Former, one term, twice-forever-impeached President Donald Trump announced...

We Asked Doctors and EMTs to Explain How Rittenhouse Could Render First Aid With His AR-15

A key component of accused double-murderer Kyle Rittenhouse's defense has been...

Princess Celestia Declares Ivermectin Shortage in the Pony Realm

CANTERLOT, EQUESTRIA --  In an early morning press release issued today,...

Satan Offers to Send Emerald Robinson to Med School

HELL -- NewsMax reporter and chief White House correspondent Emerald Robinson...

Rittenhouse Fires Attorneys, Says Judge is Doing ‘Good Enough Job’ Without Them

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- In a stunning turn of events, accused double...

McEnany: She’ll Put Jan 6 Subpoena on the Mantle Next to Her Autographed Pic of Trump’s Dong

The subpoena she receives from the January 6th select congressional committee...

McCarthy Vows to Punish Gosar by Moving His Office Next to AOC and Giving Him a Key to Her Door

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Republican Congressman and Indiana Jones Bad Guy Paul...