Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

LA Gay Couple Prepared To Be Blamed for All Natural Disasters ‘From Here On Out’

This gay couple is ready to be blamed for everything under the sun, unless that explodes too, in the wake of the SCOTUS gay marriage ruling.

Republicans Turn Off All Lights Outside Congress In Support Of The Dark Ages

In response to a rainbow White House, Republicans have turned the rotunda dark.

Obama Gun Confiscation Count: Week #413

When will Obama stop this reign of terror?!

Texas Gov. Abbot: ‘Constitution-Shmonstitution, No Gay Marriage In Texas Dagnabbit!’

Texas' Gov. Abbot might be a lawyer, but his constitutional knowledge? Well...

Ted Cruz Literally Explodes After Obamacare, Gay Marriage Decisions

The Texas demagogue was found in his hotel room, or at least what was chemically identifiable as Ted Cruz was found in his hotel room.

AMA Issues Warning About ‘Republican Butt-Hurt’ Epidemic After Obamacare Ruling

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A spokesman for the Amiercan Medical Association has...

WalMart To Stop Selling Confederate Flags And Roll-Out ‘Racist A-Hole’ Merchandise Instead

Need a Confederate Flag? Might wanna look somewhere besides Wal-Mart.

Obama Gun Confiscation Count: Week #412

How many of your guns did Obama threaten to come and personally melt down after the terrorist attack in South Carolina?

After 14th Mass Shooting in His Presidency, Conservatives Outraged Obama Mentions Guns

American conservatives were outraged that after the 13 mass shooting Obama has had to address, that he mentioned guns after the 14th.

Cops: Dylann Roof Being White and Armed ‘Key’ To Arrest, Not Summary Execution

Dylann Roof, the alleged South Carolina church shooter has been apprehended, against all modern police training and tactics.