Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

5 Predictions for Tonight’s GOP Debate You Can Take to the Bank

Will Trump show off his new tattoo, or will Scott Walker dance a jig?

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #346

Obama's Gun Confiscation marches on and on and on and on...

Poll Shows Ted Cruz, Rand Paul Have Dropped Out But Just Don’t Know It Yet

Ted Cruz and Rand Paul may not like the results of polling analysis contained in the article.

Victorian Age Dildo Offers to Sub-In for Scott Walker as Governor

Scott Walker could get some relief from an unexpected party.

Inanimate Rock Challenges Scott Walker to Debate on Foreign Policy

One rock feels he could clean Scott Walker's clock in a debate about foreign policy.

Wild-Eyed Socialist Proposes Crazy Idea to Conservative College Crowd: Compromise

Some crazy guy visited a hardcore conservative Bible college and had the balls to suggest Americans should set aside their differences and work together.

Tea Partier: Sane, Compassionate Exit Speech Proves Rick Perry Unfit for Presidency

One Tea Party Republican explains why Rick Perry was just too darned nice to be president.

Trump to Offer Sarah Palin Secretary of ‘Educationizing’ Cabinet Position

Donald Trump may just have a special place in his administration for a certain half-term Alaskan governor.

House Republicans Admit to Smoking ‘Just Enough’ Crack Before Planned Parenthood Hearing

House Republicans needed to get in the "right frame of mind" to watch the highly edited Planned Parenthood sting videos.