Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

President Obama Declares ‘Mission Accomplished’ In Jade Helm Operation

Over the weekend, President Obama declared victory in the Jade Helm operation.

Muslim American Wonders if Ben Carson Is Fit to Be Called ‘Not Dumb’

Ben Carson told Chuck Todd recently that he doesn't think Muslims should be president. One Muslim woman thinks that makes him "dumb."

Politicians Who Won’t Let Us Forget 9/11 Can’t Remember to Care About 9/11 First Responders

9/11 First Responders? Who are they? What do they need anyway?

Texas High School Suspends 14-Year Old Student Because All the Adults Were ‘F***ing Idiots’

When young Ahmed Mohamed brought his homemade clock to school, he might have forgotten what state he lives in.

5 Predictions for Tonight’s GOP Debate You Can Take to the Bank

Will Trump show off his new tattoo, or will Scott Walker dance a jig?

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #346

Obama's Gun Confiscation marches on and on and on and on...

Poll Shows Ted Cruz, Rand Paul Have Dropped Out But Just Don’t Know It Yet

Ted Cruz and Rand Paul may not like the results of polling analysis contained in the article.

Victorian Age Dildo Offers to Sub-In for Scott Walker as Governor

Scott Walker could get some relief from an unexpected party.

Inanimate Rock Challenges Scott Walker to Debate on Foreign Policy

One rock feels he could clean Scott Walker's clock in a debate about foreign policy.