Totally Bulls*it News

Can I File an Extension If I’m Not Ready to Control My Wife By January 20th?

I don't really want to go to jail because I couldn't figure out how to wrangle my wife's genitals into their holding pen before...

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #348

Will the tyranny of Obama's Gun Confiscation ever end?!

D.C. Area Bars Honor John Boehner’s Tenure By Lowering Cocktail Napkins to Half Staff

John Boehner gets a loving tribute from the Americans he helped most -- bar owners.

22-Year-Old Facebook Libertarian Defends Martin Shkreli Because ‘Free Market’

Martin Shkreli tried to gouge extremely sick people by jacking up their drug costs, and one young libertarian sees nothing wrong with that.

Jealous Putin Invites Vice-Pope to Kremlin For Karaoke

Vlad Putin doesn't like that Pope Francis visited the U.S. first, but he has an almost as good visitor coming to his country soon.

Koch Brothers On Hold With Customer Service For Scott Walker Refund

Charles and David Koch may have some buyer's remorse over Scott Walker, now that he's dropped out of the presidential race.

J. Hubert Christ: Heaven’s Email System Downed By Flood of Prayers for Bernie Sanders Victory

Jesus Christ says all the prayers about Bernie Sanders' campaign have broken his company's electronic prayer request system.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #347

Will this finally be the week that Obama's gun confiscation ends?!

Carly Fiorina Claims to Have Seen Proof That Moon Landing Was a Hoax

Carly Fiorina sees all kinds of things in all kinds of videos.

President Obama Declares ‘Mission Accomplished’ In Jade Helm Operation

Over the weekend, President Obama declared victory in the Jade Helm operation.