Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Ben Carson Campaign Clears Entire Schedule to Allow More ‘Incoherent Babbling Bulls**t’ Time

The Ben Carson has made a bold move with their campaign itinerary.

Totally Not Racist Libertarian Argues Blacks Are Just More Inherently Violent Than Whites

Totally non-racist libertarians argue that black people are just more violent than other races.

The Political Garbage Chute’s Republican Debate Drinking Game

The Republican Debate is on tonight, and we've got the best drinking game rules for it on the web!

S.C. Student-Tossing Cop Apologizes For ‘Not Just Shooting’ Unarmed Black Student Instead

Deputy Ben Fields has issued an interesting apology for his actions in a S.C. classroom this week.

LEAKED MEMO: Obama Meets McConnell, Boehner to Discuss Becoming Tyrannical

Are Obama, McConnell, and Boehner secretly planning to make every militia member's wettest dreams come true?

Mitch McConnell Waiting Until Marco Rubio Shows Up to Praise His Work Ethic

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell wanted to praise Marco Rubio for his work ethic, but Rubio wasn't there yet.

Ben Carson: I Used To Be a Violent Jerk, Now I’m Just a Stupid One!

Ben Carson wants to remind everyone he's more dumb than violent now.

Ben Carson: Not Claiming Your Farts Is ‘Exactly Like Slavery’

Ben Carson and slavery comparisons go together like peanut butter and stupid jelly.

House GOP Creates Committee To Investigate Link Between Benghazi, Planned Parenthood, Hillary, and the Holocaust

Will House Republicans be successful in their next endeavor to make Hillary Clinton un-electable?

Local Republican Can’t Wait to Share His Awful Views of Rape, Incest With You

One man's fight against abortion rights has him willing to make himself look absolutely disgusting to most humans.