Totally Bulls*it News

Can I File an Extension If I’m Not Ready to Control My Wife By January 20th?

I don't really want to go to jail because I couldn't figure out how to wrangle my wife's genitals into their holding pen before...

Area Atheist Doesn’t Want Any More ‘Damn Christian Terrorists’ Moving To Her City

One atheist woman in Wisconsin wants to welcome Syrian refugees into her state, no matter what her governor thinks.

Jesus H. Christ Offers to Give Republican Politicians a Christianity Refresher Course

Hearing Republicans want to deny Syrian refugees entry to the United States, Jesus Hubert Christ wants to remind so-called Christians how to be Christian.

Reince Preibus: GOP Candidates Know Hating Muslims is Only Path To Peace

RNC Chair Reince Priebus defends the GOP candidates' use of anti-Islamic rhetoric in response to the Paris terror attacks.

Who Said It: Ben Carson or A Box Of Rocks?

Can you guess whether Dr. Ben Carson or a Box of Rocks said each of these 7 things?

Obama Calls Paris Attacks ‘Islamist Terrorism,’ ISIS Immediately Surrenders

Like magic, as soon as Obama used the words "Islamist Terrorism" to describe the Paris attacks, ISIS surrendered.

French Officials Consider Sending Bill For Terror Clean Up to Dick Cheney

Officials in France are considering the legality of sending a bill to Dick Cheney for cleaning up after the Paris terror attack.

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #354

As Obama's Gun Confiscation marches on, the question becomes will any guns be left in America when he's done?

GOP Worried That Morons They Courted For Eight Years Could Cost Them Election

The establishment wing of the GOP is shaking in their boots over the people who support Carson and Trump.

Ohio Schools Set to Start Teaching Pull-Out Only Sex Ed Classes

Ohio sex ed classes just a got a whole lot more interesting.

Obama Mistakenly Receives Early Christmas Card from Defense Contractor

When Obama decided to extend the Afghan War indefinitely, he put himself on every defense contractor's Christmas card list.