Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Scientists Estimate 95% Probability of Lies If Ben Carson’s Speaking

The world's leading scientific minds set out to quantify the chances of a lie coming out of Ben Carson's mouth.

Town Philosopher Has Philosophy About Politicians: They Don’t Know Shit

Was Marco Rubio right about philosophy majors? One woman doesn't think so.

Cruz Makes Sesame Street Campaign Stop to Get Refresher On Counting to 5

After his Rick Perry-esque adventure in miscounting, Ted Cruz made an unscheduled, emergency campaign stop.

Rush Limbaugh ‘Mad as Hell’ About Obama’s Facebook Page

Obama's Facebook Page has Rush Limbaugh seething.

4 More Productive Things to Do With Your Life Instead of Watching the GOP Debate

Here are four things you can do with your life that are better than watching the GOP Debate.

Man Sees Image of Jesus in 7-Eleven Holiday Cup

As the furor over the Starbucks Holiday Cup Crisis rages on, one man has found solace, and a little spiritual inspiration with another coffee purveyor.

Politifact Staffs-Up 25 Fact Checkers Each For Fiorina, Carson Ahead of Debate

The fact checking site is making sure they have extra staff to rate the statements of Ben Carson and Carly Fiorina.

Gay Texan: America’s An Island We’re All Trapped on Waiting For Louie Gohmert To Die

Louie Gohmert recently fantasized in front of a bible college audience about rounding up gay people and putting them on an island to die off, and one gay Texan is incensed.

Jesus to Michele Bachmann: ‘I’m Not Coming Until You Shut Up’

Michele Bachmann thinks violence is on the rise in Israel because Jesus is coming back; Jesus on the other hand disagrees.

Marco Rubio to Publish New Book, “How to Live Like a Baller”

On his quest for the White House, Marco Rubio has penned a new financial self-help book.