Totally Bulls*it News

Oh Cool, I’m Blogging About Politics Again. Can Anyone Remember Why?

A long time ago, in a country that feels a million miles away now, I started this stupid little website because as I was...

Obama’s Gun Confiscation Count: Week #367

Will your peace-keeping love shooter get swept up in Obama's Gun Confiscation?

Donald Trump, Ted Cruz Agree U.S. Should Get ‘Dibs’ on Gravitational Waves

Two Republican candidates agree on which country should control the newly discovered gravitational waves.

Donald Trump Offers to ‘Loan Ivanka’ to Ted Cruz for His Next Campaign Video

Ted Cruz decided to pull a commercial with a former softcore porn star, but Trump could ride to his rescue.

As Their Candidate Field Narrows, GOP Worries ‘Not Enough A-Holes Left to Choose From’

Does the GOP have enough a-hole candidates left in the race?

Last Remaining Oregon Militia Squatter Ceremoniously Eats Final Chocodile

As the Oregon militia standoff comes to a close, the last remaining brave squatter carries out his final mission.

Carly Fiorina Seen Entering Planned Parenthood Seeking ‘Campaign Abortion’

Carly Fiorina ends her campaign in a most unexpected way.

After Trump Wins New Hampshire, GOP Changes Mascot From Elephant to Douche Nozzle

Trump taking New Hampshire has forced a lot of changes around the GOP.

Billionaire Searching for Regular People to Buy Off to Buy Off Bernie Sanders

Can a super-wealthy man pay off Bernie Sanders supporters so they'll in-turn pay Sanders off?