Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

Totally Bulls*it News James Schlarmann -
"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...
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Immigration

Undocumented Taiwanese Dreamer Studying Spanish In Case Trump Deports Her

Even though she's from Taiwan, one Dreamer has begun brushing up on her Spanish to prepare for a possible deportation by Trump.
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

White House Adds Alex Jones As Information, Chemtrail, and Tinfoil Adviser

The Trump administration will start relying on InfoWars host Alex Jones for key information, chemtrail investigations, and racist conspiracies.
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

Trump Asks NASA To Verify Newly Discovered Planets Also Revolve Around Him

Co-President Donald Trump reached out to the "space nerds" at NASA to help him glean just how much he should care about the new planets.
James Schlarmann -
Economy

Congressional Republican Explains Why Poor Kids Don’t Need Both Food and An Education

One Congressional Republican attempts to explain to reporters and the American people why poor kids should choose between smarts and food.
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

New EPA Head Scott Pruitt: “Maybe Mother Earth Shouldn’t Dress Like That If She Doesn’t Want Us Raping Her”

New EPA chief Scott Pruitt recently gave his first official remarks as the man charged with running the government agency that protects our environment.
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

Betsy DeVos Wants 3 R’s Officially Changed To “Reading, Reciting, and Regurgitating The Bible”

Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos wants schools to get back to the basics. As in, the very, very basics. As in, one book for all classes.
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

Trump Signs EO Declaring Electoral College Margin Of Victory “Amazing And Historical”

Co-President Donald Trump signed an order relating to his Electoral College victory that he hopes helps the country "move on" from the election last year.
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

Trump Gets Go-Ahead From Putin To Make Steve Bannon His Official Co-President

Thanks to Russian President Vladimir Putin giving the approval necessary, Steve Bannon is now officially the Co-President.
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

Trump Offers ‘Swedishland’ His ‘Deepest Pussy Grabs And Condolences’

President Trump offers sympathies to Sweden in his own, unique, purely Trumpian way.
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

CIA Warns More Fictitious Terror Attacks May Be On The Way

Newly confirmed CIA Director Mike Pompeo has a grave and dire warning for all Americans in regards to fake terror attacks.
James Schlarmann -
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