Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Spicer Cancels Press Briefings, Will Shout Talking Points From Inside Oval Office Instead

Sean Spicer and the White House have decided that on-camera press briefings are too challenging, and will just shout talking points from the Oval Office.

Guy Who Put Out “Pray 4 Assassin” Obama Dummy Outraged by Kathy Griffin Trump Beheading

One Obama hating man is really disgusted by Kathy Griffin doing something he wishes he had the guts to have done with Obama.

Kellyanne Conway: Bowling Green Attackers Were Covfefe Immigrants

White House adviser Kellyanne Conway spins a new explanation for a baffling tweet about "Covfefe" from her boss, the Commander in Chief.

Merkel Offers to Comfort and Counsel Americans Dealing With Their ‘Angry, Fascist Despot’

German Chancellor Angela Merkel has made a rather surprising, historic, and compassionate offer to Trump-resistant Americans.

White House Doctors Fear Trump May Never Wear Kids’ Mittens Again After Macron Handshake

A rough handshake from the French president Emanuel Macron may have left President Trump's hands in a state of irreparable harm.

Birther and 9/11 Truther Dubious About ‘Fake News’ of Russia/Trump Collusion

If there was any collusion between Russia and the Trump campaign, this right-wing podcaster just doesn't see it. So stop trying, libtards.

John Boehner Blasts Trump for Turning His ‘Shit Show’ of a Party Into a ‘Clusterfuck’

Former Speaker of the House John Boehner doesn't think that the Trump administration has been doing much of anything right since January.

OP-ED: Our Confederate Participation Monuments Need to Be A Safe Space from Liberal Cucks!

According to the author of this op-ed piece, Confederate monuments being taken down is un-American, wrong, and hurts his fee-fees.

Trump Suggests Jared Kushner ‘Go Old School’ and Use Tin Can and String to Reach Moscow

Jared Kushner might be in big, big trouble. But his father-in-law/the President of the United States may have a way to help him out of a jam.

Trump Announces Memorial Day Ceremony for Vets Who Weren’t Captured Before They Were Killed

This Memorial Day, President Donald Trump and his administration will honor only those vets who sacrificed it all without getting captured.