Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Super Bowl Halftime Show Makes Tomi Lahren’s Head Literally Explode

Authorities on the scene have indicated that, despite initial concerns, Tomi...

League of Sexual Anarchy Inducts Charlie Kirk’s Mom Into Its Hall of Fame

CANTON, OH HI,HO -- The freshman class of inductees into the...

Trump: Bengals Lost a ‘Rigged’ Super Bowl When Officials Kept Counting the Rams’ Points

FARTS-A-LOT-THOUGH, FLORIDA -- In his mind, the Cincinnati Bengals won the...

She’s One of Congress’ Loudest Pro-Life Voices. Ironically, She’s Also a Botched Abortion.

Every Sunday, a devout evangelical believer of Secret Jewish Space Lasers...

Ivanka: “Daddy’s Not Potty Trained Well Enough to Flush Documents Down the Toilet”

Reports and allegations that former, one term, twice permanently impeached, defeated...

Report: Trump Tried to Flush Ivanka and Jared’s Wedding License Down White House Toilet

New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman has a new book out that...

Gazpacho Police Announce Massive Counterfeit Oyster Cracker Bust

https://youtu.be/hqWJDFRyc2w WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Nancy Pelosi's personal law enforcement squad, the Gazpacho...

Marjorie Greene Has Spent So Much in Mask Fines, She Wishes Biden Was Giving Away Crack Pipes

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- No matter how much explaining the Biden White...