Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Thinks Black Athletes ‘Pose a Bigger Threat to American Security Than Nazis’

"Certain members of my base are really off-put by what black people do in general."

Corker Says He’s ‘Not a Fan of the Taste of Trump’s Dick’ Anymore

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The war of words between two very powerful...

Trump Taps Dr. Jenny McCarthy for White House Special Counsel on Alternative Facts

"We need people making alternatively informed decisions for themselves."

Mexico Offers To Pay For Pest Control Service To Remove ‘La Cucaracha Naranja Gigante’ From The White House

"Your apricot-tinged president's proposal for Mexico to pay for his unnecessary and ineffective border wall has been and will continue to be rejected."

DNC Releases Memo on Hillary Clinton’s Letterhead Denying Any Improrpriety

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, the Democratic National Committee attempted to quell...

Trump Wants Rogue Twitter Employee Deemed Enemy Combatant and Sent to Gitmo

"This is worse than even an uppity urban taking a knee during the National Anthem."

Poll: Rogue Twitter Employee Who Shut Down Trump’s Account Early 2020 Frontrunner

"Clearly people think this was an admirable, honorable act."

Why Haven’t We Seen Paul Manafort and Barack Obama in the Same Room Together?

"It makes a lot of sense if you just forget what sense is, and go purely on your gut and heart."