Totally Bulls*it News

Can I File an Extension If I’m Not Ready to Control My Wife By January 20th?

I don't really want to go to jail because I couldn't figure out how to wrangle my wife's genitals into their holding pen before...

Jim Jordan: “We Wouldn’t Have to Ban Books if the Left Would Just Let Us Burn Them Again”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressdouche Jim Jordan (Q-OH) appeared on OANN this...

Cold Texas Temperatures Signal It’s Time for Dodos to Fly South to Cancun

As it gets colder in the Lone Star State, its dodo...

TN School Board Approves Only Two Books for Classrooms: The Bible and “The Art of the Deal”

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Marking a change in current trends,...

Trump Demands Pence Be Investigated For Not Letting Himself Be Hanged by MAGA Supporters

FARTS-A-LOT-THO, FLORIDA -- Taking in a second buffet lunch of the...

Spotify: Future Episodes of Joe Rogan Podcast Will Be Vetted by Dr. Alexander Jones

Streaming platform Spotify announced this afternoon that it was taking "immediate...

Trump Promised Rally Crowd: MAGA Will ‘Avenge General Lee and Actually Win the Next Civil War’

CONROE, TEXAS -- This weekend, one-term, twice permanently impeached, defeated former...

Boebert: “The Free Market is Full of Commies Censoring Conservatives!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Speaking in the nation's capital at a prayer...

Stupidfuck Promises to Pardon Dumbfucks Who Attempted Idiotic Coup on His Behalf

This weekend, a defeated former president and confirmed stupidfuck -- who...