Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Orders The Formation Of New, “ICE-S” Squad For Hispanic or Muslim Deportation Arrests

DAVOS, SWITZERLAND -- While traveling overseas to meet with the world's...

Trump Demands Meeting With Swiss Miss During Davos Trip

AIR FORCE ONE -- While flying high above the Atlantic Ocean...

Fox Sending Tomi Lahren To North Korea To Ask Kim Jong Un For Tips On Forced Patriotism

Fox News is shipping its most plucky and screech-a-rific contributor to North Korea so she can pick Un's brain about despotic patriotism.

Millions Flood White House Phones Demanding Judge Rosemarie Aquilina Be Promoted to Supreme Court

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Trump administration is confirming that at the...

Senate Democrats Promise To Have Spinal Placement Surgery Completed Before Midterms

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) told reporters...

Eric Trump Asks His Dad If Stormy Daniels Is His New Sister

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources close to the Trump family say that...

Pharmaceutical Company Develops Screechitol, World’s First Auditory Contraceptive

PharmTek Incorporated, a subsidiary of Galactic Chemical Enterprises, announced a new...

Dems Float Legislation Directing DHH To Allow Doctors To Refuse Treating Mouth Breathing Religious Zealots

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In response to the Trump administration's efforts to...