Totally Bulls*it News

Can I File an Extension If I’m Not Ready to Control My Wife By January 20th?

I don't really want to go to jail because I couldn't figure out how to wrangle my wife's genitals into their holding pen before...

Greene Says She Identifies as ‘Madison Cawthorn But Without a Dong’

During a recent episode of Steve Bannon's podcast, freshman Congressmare Marjorie...

Disney to Sell MAGA Mickey Ears, Greet Republicans as ‘Domestic Terrorists,’ Not Boys or Girls

ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA -- The Walt Disney Company has announced that it...

Matt Gaetz is Boycotting Disney and Will Take His Prom Date to SeaWorld Instead

This week, Florida's governor signed a controversial law onto the books...

Eric Trump in Hospital With Nearly Melted Hands Because Tried to Destroy His Burner Phone

Recently, reports have surfaced that on January 6th, 2021, members of...

Lauren Boebert Successfully Donated Six Brain Cells to MTG and Still Has Six to Spare

Doctors in Colorado are marveling at the news that a congressional...

RNC Calls Smith Slapping Rock “Legitimate Awards Show Discourse”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Republican National Committee issued a statement this...

Cruz Says He Helped Plan Eastman’s Coup Because “Someone Laced Trump’s Taint With Roofies”

Yesterday, a federal judge ruled that Trump loyalist and lawyer John...

Study of Mitch McConnell’s DNA Might Prove Existence of Racist Sperm

The National Research Labs of America published results of a new...

A Second Grader Asked DeSantis Where Babies Come From. He Had Her Arrested.

This morning, while visiting an elementary school in Northern Florida, Gov....