Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Ivanka, Jared, Eric, and Don Jr ‘Disappointed’ Hunter Biden Used His Name for Personal Gain

If there is one thing that everyone knows about the crotch-fruit...

Heidi Cruz Asks Trump For Ted’s Balls Back So He Can Suntan Them

Fox News host, and White Nationalist Magazine's "Nazi Cuntwhistle of the...

Florida Bans Education

Education of any kind is now completely and fully illegal within...

Democrats Will Just Debate a Literal Sack of Shit in 2024

This week, the Republican National Committee officially ended its relationship with...

Coat Hangers and Bleach Pass Meth and Busch Beer as Florida’s Highest Selling Products

Just days after Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q-FL) signed a sweeping, new...

Florida’s New 15-Week Abortion Ban Really Opens Up Matt Gaetz’ Dating Prospects

On Thursday, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (Q) helped his state join...

Of Course I Believe a Billionaire Wants to Protect My Freedom of Speech. I’m a Fucking Moron.

What's all this fuss about Elon Musk's hostile takeover attempt of...