Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Jesus Can’t Figure Out Why American Christians Want to Starve Children They Force Into Life

Speaking to reporters at his weekly press conference, Jesus Hubert Christ...

Jan 6 Committee Wants to Ask Meadows When He Knew Trump Was a Little Bitch Who Can’t Handle Losing

The House committee investigating the failed insurrection of January 6th, 2021...

DeSantis Puts Gaetz in Charge of Florida’s Sex Education

In Florida, educators are going to have to start asking Congressman...

At Our Last Klan Rally, Tucker Carlson Promised Me He Isn’t Racist

The following editorial was submitted by Fritz Palumbozo, a self-described white...

Disney World’s “Mr. Chode’s Fascist Wild Ride” Takes Riders Through Florida Under DeSantis

Guests arriving at Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom park today were...

Cawthorn Says His Stock Tips Come From The Ladies Whose Tits Bear The Cocaine He Snorts

With pressure mounting even from within his own party -- such...

Musk: “We’ll Let You Say What You Want on Twitter as Long As It’s Not About Me or My Companies”

Elon Musk does not officially own Twitter, not yet anyway. The Twitter...

I Run an Influential TikTok Account That Dehumanizes People. Why Can’t I Anonymously Ruin Lives?

The following editorial was submitted by Karol Markyshittz. Mz. Markyshittz up...