Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Jacob Blake’s Back Feels Really Bad for Rand Paul’s Ego

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- Last night, the Republican Nationalist Convention wrapped-up in...

POLL: No One Cares What This Narcissistic Conman Douchebag Reality TV White Collar Crook Said About Joe Biden

Last night, a rage-filled, racist, narcissistic conman douchebag reality-TV game show...

UPDATE: Ann Coulter Still a Horse-Faced Racist Cuntrag

Ann Coulter, conservative author and race war agitator, is still officially...

2020 Republican Nationalist Convention Will Close With Ceremonial Book Burning

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump will close out the 2020...

ISIS Thanks White House for Successfully Radicalizing Kyle Rittenhouse

SYRIA -- The terror organization known as ISIS has issued a...

NBC News to Track How Many Americans Die From COVID During RNC Broadcast

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- NBC News has decided to display...

Racist Gold Digging Birther Exploits Her Immigrant Story While Thousands of Brown Kids Sit In Cages

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A racist, gold digging birther stood before the...

Liberty University to Give Falwell 21-Cuck Salute Send-Off

LYNCHBURG, VIRGINIA -- When Jerry Falwell Jr. leaves Liberty University in...

Donald Trump Still Doesn’t Love Donald Trump Jr.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last night, President Donald Trump's son, his namesake...