James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign spokesperson Dustin Pewpsin, who also served as Elon Musk's personal testicular polishing assistant from 2021-2022. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not of this outlet,...
spot_img

Keep exploring

All 56 Mexican Countries Reaffirm Commitment to Never Pay for Trump’s Wall

A letter has been delivered to President Donald J. Trump at the White House,...

Trump Promises To Disband NASA If They Don’t Bring Back Cheese From New Moon Expedition

"Trust me on this just like you trusted me that Trump Steaks were real cow and not chunks of Mike Huckabee's ass."

Anonymous White House Staffer Says President Concerned First Lady ‘Only Blows Sometimes’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An anonymous, extremely highly placed contact within the Donald Trump administration...

Barr Writes Four Page Summary of Book of Genesis Exonerating God for Great Flood

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General William Barr held a press conference at the Department...

Trump Has Taco Bell Delivered to Migrant Families Detained Under Bridge in El Paso Parking Lot

EL PASO, TEXAS -- President Donald Trump issued an executive order from his Oval...

White Nationalism Ban Briefly Brings Down President’s Facebook Page

SWILLYCORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- This week, Facebook announced sweeping new policy changes in an...

Mexico Says They’ll Pay for U.S. Special Olympics Team

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- The Federal Government of Mexico has stepped-in and offered to...

Barr Says Mueller Report Exonerates Hillary Clinton for Benghazi, Uranium One, Assassin Career

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- First Attorney General William Barr summarized the Robert Mueller's two-year long...

Barr Says Mueller Report Exonerates Obama for Forging Hawaiian Birth Certificate, Confiscating Everyone’s Guns

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General William Barr keeps finding ways that the Mueller Report...

AG Bar Says Mueller Report Exonerates Jussie Smollett

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The topsy-turvy, freewheeling, unpredictable nature of the major news headlines this...

Barr Says Mueller Report Exonerates Trump for Saying Mexico Would Pay for Border Wall

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General Barr is not done exonerating President Donald Trump based...

William Barr Writes 4 Page Letter Summarizing Harry Potter Novels and Exonerating Voldemort

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General William Barr has only been back at the Department...

Latest articles

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...