James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Betrayal? RFK’s Brain Worms Just Endorsed Donald Trump

"Much like how an Evangelical Christian can read the Bible and not know anything about Christianity, we eat brains, but get no intellectual benefit from them." You know, they say that "politics makes for strange bedfellows," and in the case of Matt Gaetz, it also...

Every Former President Ranked from Least to Most Felony Convictions

Our regular readers will likely recall that part of our mission statement here -- outside of providing the Internet's premiere destination for burrito recipes of course -- is a commitment to bringing a "historical perspective" on current events. Recently, a former president was convicted on...
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Trump to Give Himself Purple Heart for Getting Ego Bruised by Impeachment Proceedings

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a closed-door deposition today, Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman gave what...

Local Man Hopes Kellyanne Conway Halloween Costume Doesn’t Scare Away Trick or Treaters

SKELETAL FLATS, IOWA -- Every year, Jack Burton does his very best to make...

Jim Jordan: “We Can’t Impeach Trump Before Impeaching Joe Biden”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Rep. Gym Jordan told reporters this morning that he "absolutely does...

Clowns Hold Press Conference and Raid Closed Door Deposition

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A gaggle of drunken, angry clowns held an emotional press conference...

Trump Says California Fires Made Worse by ‘All The Windmills Making So Much Wind’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump, who is also a noted scientist with published...

Kellyanne Conway Says Nats Fans Were Alternative Cheering Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senior mendacity adviser to the president, Kellyanne Conway, told reporters tonight...

Trump Orders Washington Nats and Their Fans Deported ‘Back to Maple Mexico’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Immediately upon returning back to the White House from the Washington...

President Asked If His Bone Spurs Could Assist Special Forces’ al-Baghdadi Operation ‘In Any Way’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Before authorizing the military operation that ended in the death of...

Giuliani’s Mouth Dials Trump’s Butt and Asks If It Needs a Kiss

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani made headlines a couple...

Gowdy: “How Can You Impeach Trump When He Wasn’t Even Involved in Benghazi?”

AMOR DU COUSIN, SOUTH CAROLINA -- Former Congressman Trey Gowdy is no stranger to...

Will Mark Zuckerberg Mind Us Publishing on Facebook That He Fu**s Sheep?

A recent editorial published on our sister site, The Political Garbage Chute, has gained some traction...

Trump Still Scouting Locations for Next Klanpaign Rally

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One could argue that President Donald J. Trump never stopped campaigning,...

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Betrayal? RFK’s Brain Worms Just Endorsed Donald Trump

"Much like how an Evangelical Christian can read the Bible and not know anything...

Every Former President Ranked from Least to Most Felony Convictions

Our regular readers will likely recall that part of our mission statement here --...

When Will Biden Call Off His War on Rapey Conmen Coup Conspirators?

The following editorial was written by Jethro Bohiggins -- a pro-MAGA singer/songwriter and podcast...

The RNC Will Officially Change Its Platform to Be Very, Very, Very, Very Soft on Crime

"...you need to do what happens to my TOTALLY NORMAL AND ABOVE-AVERAGE LENGTH PEEN...