Trump Says He Prefers to Apologize to Widows Whose Husbands Weren’t Killed in Action

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Commander in Chief told reporters this morning that he will not be apologizing to Myeshia Johnson, the widow of Gold Star Sgt. La David Johnson, who was one of four U.S. soldiers who lost their lives in a deadly ambush attack in Niger earlier this month.

Controversy has been buzzing around President Donald Trump since he called Ms. Johnson to offer condolences on behalf of the country for her loss. Details of the call were reported because Congresswoman Frederica Wilson, a longtime friend of Sgt. Johnson’s family who was also one of his childhood mentors, was with Myeshia when she received the call, and it was placed on the speakerphone so everyone could hear. Despite attempts by Trump’s supporters to knock down both Rep. Wilson’s credibility and the downplay the incident, Trump himself has been unable to move on, and many of suggested a simple apology to Ms. Johnson would suffice, but this morning Trump laid to rest any hopes of that happening.

“No, I will not be apologizing to, you know, What’s Her Name whose husband What’s His Face died in Niger last week,” Trump said simply as he exited The White House for his morning coffee, doughnut, deep fried Crisco sandwich, and melted butter in a plastic tub with a big straw run.

RELATED: Trump Rushed To Hospital To Remove Myeshia Johnson’s Foot From His Rectum

President Trump alluded to his previous statements about the conduct of troops overseas. He said that just as he doesn’t consider people who were captured to be war heroes, he doesn’t consider it his duty to apologize to people he’s offended when “certain circumstances are present.” Trump spoke plainly and bluntly about his feelings.

“I don’t apologize to women in general, okay? But I prefer to apologize to widows whose husbands weren’t killed in action,” Trump said emphatically.

Trump’s chief of staff, John Kelly, himself a 4-Star General, spoke to the press after the president had walked away, presumably to get into a waiting limousine that would take him on his morning errands.

“I think what the president is trying to say is that we’ve had enough of the politicization of the loss of our troops,” Kelly said, “and now I’d like to show you all this fifteen minute slide show I made of a soldier’s body being processed after he was killed, and then I just threw ten minutes from my own son’s funeral in there, complete with links to where you can donate to Republican candidates who support our military and will not ever politicize it or the death of any soldier, like those jerk-faced Democrats do.”

Ms. Johnson could not be reached for comment.

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