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Time Magazine

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
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TIME Tells Trump He’ll Be Their “Obnoxious, Petty, Self-Aggrandizing Little Bi**ch of the Year” in 2020

This week, the world's most most powerful petty and jealous man in the free...

TIME Promises Trump They’ll Name Him “Obnoxious, Petty, Self-Aggrandizing Cunt of the Year” in 2020

This morning, the world's most most powerful petty and jealous man in the free...

TIME Offers Trump New, Slightly Different “Participation Award”

"Frankly, we thought it would be an insult to both garbage and people if we didn't give this one to Trump."

You’ve Never Met Donald Trump’s Girlfriend, Okay? She Doesn’t Go To School Here.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today President Trump continued his escalating war of words with TIME Magazine and also...

NASA Asks Trump to Take Down Fake Fake Moon Landing Picture from Oval Office

Alex Jones gave President Trump a falsified fake moon landing photo, and NASA is not happy about it.

Shortly After Signing Order Declaring All Truth ‘Relative,’ Trump Makes Inappropriate Sexual Comment About It

The truth. Donald Trump doesn't use it. Doesn't know much about it, really. But he does know he absolutely wants to sleep with it now.

Responding To Pressure, TIME Adds “Garbage” To Trump’s Person Of The Year Cover

Changes come after outrage over Time's selection of Donald Trump for Person Of The Year.

Latest articles

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...