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Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
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Conservative Media

Dan Bongino: “Crosswalks Tyrannize Drivers Who Don’t Want to Slow Down for Pedestrians”

LAKE MORON, FLORIDA -- An angry, teary-eyed Dan Bongino -- thrice failed congressional candidate...
Conservative Media

Disgruntled OAN Viewers Can Still Get The Same Information at Their Next Klan Rally

Last week, AT&T stunned millions of unwashed, cousin-lusting Americans when it announced that it...
Conservative Media

Analysis: 90% of Videos on Rumble Are Dan Bongino Hate-Spanking to AOC Clips

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Recently, right-wing agitator Dan Bongino was temporarily suspended from...
Lifestyle

Man Shares Inspirational MLK Quote Right Before Calling CRT “Racist Marxism” in Comment Section

Social media historians are calling it one of the most interesting moments of the...
Lifestyle

Gaetz’ Girlfriend Skipped Driver’s Ed Class to Testify Before Grand Jury

This week, a former girlfriend of Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) testified before a grand...
Conservative Media

Mike Lindell Claims to Have Evidence Millions of Americans ‘Wanted Trump to Lose’

Mike Lindell, the embattled CEO of MyPillow and MyCrackpipe, announced on Steve Bannon's podcast...
Conservative Media

Tucker Carlson Will Only Spend Angelou Quarters Once He Spends the Ones with White Guys On Them

Fox News host and trust fund white supremacist Tucker Carlson inherited wealth that equates...
Science & Medicine

NFL Approves Rule Change Forcing Anti-Vaxxer Players to Remove Their Helmets and Pads

NFL players who are anti-vaccine will be forced to strip off their pads and...
Science & Medicine

Fauci to Paul: “In My Non Self-Certified Medical Opinion, You’re a Bitch-Ass Lying Traitor”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After two years of the global COVID-19 pandemic and the federal...
Religion

Man Sues God For Taking Betty White and Bob Saget When Trump Was ‘Still a Very Good Option’

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- 2022 is not quite two weeks old, and already...
Science & Medicine

If You Hear Your Uncle Say This Three Word Phrase, Get Him to a Neurologist ASAP!

Knowing the signs of life-threatening medical emergencies can save your life, and the lives...
Lifestyle

Does Your Grandson Think Your Joke is Racist Because He’s Woke, or Because It Uses the N-Word?

We may not enjoy it, but the simple fact is that times are, indeed,...
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Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)