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U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
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Criminal Justice

No Matter What, I Back the Blue. Until I Beat Them With a Flagpole During an Insurrection.

The following editorial was submitted by State Rep. Tom Thompaulsen (R). Because of our...
Conservative Media

We Corrected All of Trump’s Lies in His Wall Street Journal Letter to the Editor

Yesterday, Rupert Murdoch's print version of Fox News, The Wall Street Journal, published a diatribe written...
Science & Medicine

Experts Weigh-In: Will Your 10 Year Old’s 5G Reception Improve After Getting the COVID-19 Vaccine?

Yesterday, an FDA panel voted unanimously to recommend authorization of the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine...
Criminal Justice

Judge: Prosecutors Can Only Call Rittenhouse a ‘Sweet White Boy Who Went Pew-Pew on Accident’

The judge presiding over the trial of accused murderous white nationalist vigilante Kyle Rittenhouse...
Lifestyle

8 Things Ted Cruz Has Defended More Rigorously Than His Own Wife

There are few men who are considered braver, or even as brave, as Sen....
Science & Medicine

Anti-Condom Protesters Storm Porn Set and Demand Actor Be Allowed to Raw Dog Co-Stars

SLAM FERNANDO VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- A group of angry protesters, insisting they were there...
Science & Medicine

DeSantis Offers $5,000 to Any Cop With COVID That Makes Out With Him

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- The Governor of Florida is bound and determined to get police...
Science & Medicine

Trump Promises Windmill Cancer Vaccine If He Gets Second Term, But Will Not Mandate It

BUTTE CHEESE, IOWA -- Former, one term, twice forever and ever and ever impeached...
Criminal Justice

Have You Seen Any Job Openings Where I Can Kill People While Unvaccinated?

The following editorial was submitted to this publication by Officer Darrel Dicchest, who just...
MAGA News

Op-Ed: “My Genitals Are Microscopic and It’s All George Soros’ Fault!”

The following editorial was submitted by the office of Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL). The...
Tech

Trump Launches “Truth Social” and OJ Simpson Launches “Not for Murderers Social”

https://youtu.be/u0tJyXF9qiA SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- This morning, Facebook and Twitter executives woke up to...
MAGA News

Jim Jordan Won’t Admit the Election Wasn’t Stolen or That Trump’s Balls Don’t Taste Like Candy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There are few in Congress more fiercely loyal to former President...
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U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)