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Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
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Lifestyle

Greene: “Black History Month is a Marxist Attack on Americans Who Want to Ignore Black People”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today is the first day of Black History Month, but not...
Conservative Media

Should I Listen to Tucker and Stay Unvaccinated, or Shout “I’m a Big Fucking Idiot” Instead?

I'm writing this today, hoping that someone out there can help me with a...
Conservative Media

Spotify: Future Episodes of Joe Rogan Podcast Will Be Vetted by Dr. Alexander Jones

Streaming platform Spotify announced this afternoon that it was taking "immediate and swift action"...
MAGA News

Trump Promised Rally Crowd: MAGA Will ‘Avenge General Lee and Actually Win the Next Civil War’

CONROE, TEXAS -- This weekend, one-term, twice permanently impeached, defeated former President Don Trump...
Conservative Media

Boebert: “The Free Market is Full of Commies Censoring Conservatives!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Speaking in the nation's capital at a prayer breakfast held for...
Criminal Justice

Obama Tells Biden He Can ‘Think of One Black Woman With a Law Degree’ to Replace Breyer

President Joe Biden is currently conducting a search for someone to replace retiring Supreme...
Conservative Media

Joe Rogan Will Re-Record Neil Young’s Catalogue, But Needs Mic Stand Lowered Four Feet First

CHEMTRAIL FALLS, TEXAS -- Podcaster Joe Rogan has been asked to re-track the entire...
Lifestyle

If We Can’t Fantasize Sexually About the Green M&M or Minnie Mouse, the Commies Already Won

The following editorial was written and submitted to The Political Garbage Chute by Congressman Matt Gaetz...
Conservative Media

We Know It’s Not a Brain, So What’s Inside Dan Bongino’s Enormous Skull?

Of all the right-wing media personalities in America, none have a cranium as large...
Science & Medicine

She Will Not Comply With Vaccine Mandates, Mask Mandates, or Basic Standards of Human Hygiene

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman congressmare Marjorie Taylor Greene is, to put it bluntly, not...
Conservative Media

Biden: “I Don’t Know Pete Doocy’s Parents, So I Had No Right to Call Him a Son of a Bitch.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, a Fox News White House reporter asked President Joe Biden...
Conservative Media

Tucker Carlson Will Rub Reese’s Pieces on His Ken Doll Patch Instead

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Fox News host Tucker Carlson is breaking off what...
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Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)