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Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
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League of Sexual Anarchy Inducts Charlie Kirk’s Mom Into Its Hall of Fame

CANTON, OH HI,HO -- The freshman class of inductees into the League of Sexual...

Trump: Bengals Lost a ‘Rigged’ Super Bowl When Officials Kept Counting the Rams’ Points

FARTS-A-LOT-THOUGH, FLORIDA -- In his mind, the Cincinnati Bengals won the Super Bowl last...

NFL Approves Rule Change Forcing Anti-Vaxxer Players to Remove Their Helmets and Pads

NFL players who are anti-vaccine will be forced to strip off their pads and...

Cowboys Change Cheerleader Squad Name to “Super Spreaders”

DALLASS, TEXASS -- This week, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones -- whose body and...

Redskins Rename Themselves to Honor Those Offended by Team’s Name Change

After almost nine decades using it, the nickname of the NFL team based in...

Trump Supporter: America is Terrible and Kaepernick Should Honor America Because It’s Perfect

One conservative man's outrage over Colin Kaepernick not standing for the National Anthem.

Local MAGA Boy: Nike Should ‘Make It Up To’ Trump Supporters and Put Flaming T’s On Their Shoes

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and country music singer/songwriter Jethro Bohiggins has...

Ivanka Opens North Korean Factory to Make Tennis Shoes With Confederate Flags on Them

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- First Lady-Daughter Ivanka Trump announced this afternoon that she has decided...

Trumper Buys $45,000 Worth In Nike Socks To Burn In Boycott

HOBART, ARKANSAS -- Right-wing podcaster and YouTube star Clem O'Connell told his audience today...

Trump Suggests NFL Players Protest Police Brutality With Tiki Torches, Swastikas, and Weapons

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For the past three years, the NFL has been grappling with...

Richard Spencer Named Papa John’s New Chairman

LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY -- In an attempt fill the vacancy left by outgoing chairman and...

US Paralympics Team Refuses to Stand During Star Spangled Banner

COLORADO SRPINGS, CO -- A controversy erupted over the weekend when the United States Paralympics...

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Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....