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Mars
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Criminal Justice
I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels
"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
May 10, 2024
Criminal Justice
Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?
"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
May 8, 2024
Science & Medicine
First Recorded Sounds From Mars Are Martians Thanking Us For Electing Biden
In a truly stunning turn of events, the first audio recordings of the surface...
February 23, 2021
Science & Medicine
Trump: Space Force Will Put Base on Shared Earth/Mars Moon
AIR FORCE INDIVIDUAL-1 -- Flying back across the Atlantic to Washington, D.C. after participating...
June 7, 2019
MAGA News
Trump: Space Force Will Put Base on Shared Earth/Mars Moon
AIR FORCE INDIVIDUAL-1 -- Flying back across the Atlantic to Washington, D.C. after participating...
June 7, 2019
Science & Medicine
Martian Cat Kills Curiosity
MARS -- The chief tracking officer at NASA is confirming at the time of...
June 8, 2018
Science & Medicine
SpaceX Developing New Mars Leash So Space Colonists Can Be Yanked Back Home
Elon Musk's SpaceX is at it again! Today, at a press conference for investors, Musk...
March 16, 2018
MAGA News
President Trump Designates Trappist-1 Solar System As Construction Site For Death Star
The newly discovered exoplanets in the TRAPPIST-1 solar system will be the construction site for a new American battle station.
March 1, 2017
Science & Medicine
Ted Cruz: Mars Water Supply Proves Girls Go To Jupiter to Get More Stupider
There's water on Mars and Sen. Ted Cruz believes it means something universal about life itself.
September 29, 2015
Science & Medicine
Ted Cruz: U.S. Calls ‘Dibs’ on Mars’ Water Supply, Will Charge Rest of Galaxy For Access
Scientists have found the first evidence of liquid water on Mars, and Senator Ted Cruz calls "finders/keepers."
April 16, 2015
Science & Medicine
Senate GOP to Declare U.S. Dominion Over Mars’ Nitrogen Supply
There's nitrogen on Mars, and Senate Republicans want to harvest it for America and America only.
March 25, 2015
Latest articles
Criminal Justice
I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels
"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
May 10, 2024
Criminal Justice
Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?
"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
May 8, 2024
Lifestyle
Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops
"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
May 3, 2024
Women's Rights
Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family
"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
May 1, 2024
