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Kellyanne Conway

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
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Kellyanne Conway Chose…Poorly

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In hindsight, her friends and family say that White House senior...

Kellyanne Conway Jumps Into Dumpster Fire ‘Once More For Old Times’ Sake’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Authorities in the nation's capital are reporting that soon-to-be former White...

Skeletor Disappointed He Looks More Like Kellyanne Conway After Plastic Surgery

Editor's note: If you find yourself offended by this story, try to remember how...

Kellyanne Conway Says The Trump Economy Can ‘Easily Handle’ 17 Million Americans Filing for ‘Alternative Employment’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As President Donald Trump tries to help the nation navigate what...

Kellyanne Conway: “The Trump Economy Can Easily Handle 6.6 Million Americans Filing for Alternative Employment”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, President Donald Trump tried to brace the nation for what...

Kellyanne Conway: “The Market is Alternatively Booming Because Investors Are Alternatively Confident in Us”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After one of its most volatile weeks since the Great Recession...

Kellyanne Conway Plans to Move to South Dakota

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- White House Senior Lie Advisor Kellyanne Conway told the media today...

Local Man Hopes Kellyanne Conway Halloween Costume Doesn’t Scare Away Trick or Treaters

SKELETAL FLATS, IOWA -- Every year, Jack Burton does his very best to make...

Kellyanne Conway Confirms Her Ethnicity As Crypt Keeper

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A defiant Kellyanne Conway stridently and forcefully told reporters today as...

Mr. Ivanka Trump Continues His Twitter Feud With Mr. Crypt Keeper

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The entirety of alleged billionaire Mr. Ivanka Trump's presidency has been...

Kellyanne Conway: National Emergency at Border ‘Much Bigger and Worser Crisis’ Than Bowling Green Massacre

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One of President Trump's most vocal and loyal aides, Kellyanne Conway,...

Leaked: Former White House Communication Director Caught With His Hand In A Mooch

Air Force One -- A two-year old leaked White House pool photograph snapped a...

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Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....