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Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
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Science & Medicine

Hurricane Dorian Makes Preemptive Strike Against U.S. Nuclear Arsenal

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, the Pentagon is confirming that the...
MAGA News

Bush Says Trump Should Know How to Pronounce ‘Nookular Weapons’ Before He Uses Them on Hurricanes

CABEZA MIERDA, TEXAS -- Former President George W. Bush left the public spotlight in...
MAGA News

Trump: “I Didn’t Consider Nuking Hurricanes Because Everyone Knows You Nuke Tornadoes”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This past weekend, Axios published a story that suggested President Donald Trump has...
LGTBQ+

Pat Robertson Warns: God Will Send Hurricanes to All 50 States If ‘Gays Keep Getting Married’

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson has an ominous warning for America: Stop...
Religion

Pat Robertson Begs ‘The Gays’ to Only Do ‘Hand and Mouth Stuff’ Until After Hurricane Season

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson told a podcast audience this week that...
LGTBQ+

Robertson: God Probably Won’t Smite America With Hurricanes Over ‘Rimming And Outer-Play’

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Perhaps in an attempt to quell growing furor over comments...
Science & Medicine

National Weather Administration Will Rename Next Hurricane “Sherman”

After Harvey, Irma, and Jose all dissipate, a weather agency will rename the next hurricane to hit the region "Hurricane Sherman."
Conservative Media

Kirk Cameron Gives God Credit For Hurricanes, Satan Takes Credit for Kirk Cameron

Satan has revealed a secret business relationship with one of Hollywood's most lovable, formerly relevant child actors turned Jesus freaks.

Latest articles

Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)