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Heidi Cruz

I Just Got a Sneak Peak at Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Signature Shoe Line

"I lied to him and told him that I was a friend of the...

Why Aren’t Liberals Grateful to Live in the World’s Most Exceptional Shooting Range?

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and former NRA executive board member...
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Judge Jackson Regrets Not Pre-Insulting Heidi Cruz’s Looks

Now that her confirmation hearings have come to a close, sources say that Judge...

Cruz: “Does Joe Biden Really Plan to Go Four Years Not Rage Tweeting About Cable News Ratings?”

An angry Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) took to the Senate floor today and blasted...

8 Things Ted Cruz Has Defended More Rigorously Than His Own Wife

There are few men who are considered braver, or even as brave, as Sen....

Cruz: “Why Is Joe Biden So Afraid to Call My Wife Ugly?”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) blasted President Joe Biden today, accusing him...

Dear President Joe: When Are You Going to Insult My Wife’s Looks, Sir?

"I'm waiting. Heidi's ugly ass is waiting. The nation's waiting."

Ted Cruz’s Ugly Wife Confirms Gender Neutral Potato Head and Her Husband Will Still Have Same Size Balls

Heidi Cruz, the ugly as sin wife of Sen. Ted Cruz, confirmed for reporters...

For the Sake of Bipartisanship, Biden Offers to Call Cruz’s Wife Ugly

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden ran on a message of uniting the country....

Cruz: “An Impeachment Conviction After He’s Left Office Won’t Make My Wife Any Less Ugly”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Before he left office, the former President of the United States...

Cruz Says He and His Ugly Wife Are Appalled By Pro-Trump Violent Mob He Incited

WASHINGTON, D.C.  -- Just days before the violent pro-Trump mob ransacked the capitol building,...

Cruz Awaits Poll Closings and News About Whether His Wife Will Be Ugly Another Four Years

FUCKFACE, TEXAS -- Canadian-born-Super-Texan-Cowboy-Elite-Ivy-League-Lawyer Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) told his staff this morning during...

Ted Cruz Says Trump’s Dick “Tastes Like a Lifetime Appointment”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Scholars of American history perhaps have never answered the question before,...

Cruz: “You Know What? My Wife is an Ugly She-Beast. My Dad Did Try to Kill JFK. Trump Is Totally Innocent.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's highly likely that no one on the Hill has been...

Latest articles

I Just Got a Sneak Peak at Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Signature Shoe Line

"I lied to him and told him that I was a friend of the...

Why Aren’t Liberals Grateful to Live in the World’s Most Exceptional Shooting Range?

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and former NRA executive board member...

What DO You Get The Horse-Faced Cave Troll Insurrectionist In Your Life for Valentine’s Day?

"...a lovely new feedbag might be the way to go. But she just signed...

Tucker’s Putin Interview Was the Most Boring BJ Video I’ve Ever Seen on the Internet

"...in the interest of fairness, and admittedly settling a sense of curiosity I had...