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If I Don’t Have a Biden Flag, Biden Shoes, or Biden Bible, Am I Really Voting for Biden?

PROF. McTERRY: And who won the election? JAMES: Well, I don't fuck my cousin, so I know...

I Asked a Klansman If He’s Voting For Biden Since They’re Both Democrats. He Punched Me.

"Man, it's really true what they say about Democrats. They're snowflakes." We all know a...
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President Retweets Breitbart Article Claiming COVID Can Be Cured with Trump Steaks

Twitter has removed tweets that were retweeted by President Donald Trump this morning. One...

ISIS Trying to Recruit “Top American Killer” President Donald Trump

When America was attacked on September 11th, 2001, planes were hijacked and flown into...

Coronavirus Update: Area Flasher Desperate for Parks to Open Up Again

NOIX NUES, LOUISIANA -- Chad Stripley has really not enjoyed his time under coronavirus...

Pat Robertson: “Jesus Died For Your Sins. The Least You Can Do Is Die For Trump’s Economy.”

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson hasn't done much to hide his support...

President Says Special Kool-Aid Will Protect Americans Returning to Work Without COVID-19 Vaccine

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's not a secret that President Trump and many of his...

President Promises Americans ‘The Trump Steak of Coronavirus Vaccines’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump told the American people today that they...

Bill Gates Offers to Buy and Delete Elon Musk

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- Billionaire tech titan Bill Gates is reportedly close to making one...

Lindsey Graham Doesn’t Think Senate Should Return Until He Can Fit His Mask Over Trump’s Nuts

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) can be counted among the elected Republicans...

Vice President Pence: “I’m Just Used To Leaving the House With The President’s Rectum Covering My Face”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- High Priest Vice President Mike Pence held a hastily thrown together...

Trump Reassures First Lady Coronavirus Is Not Sexually Transmitted

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This afternoon, the president held a press event in the White...

Mike Pence Asks Heaven If Jesus Could Join Coronavirus Response Team

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Jesus Hubert Christ, the Executive Vice President of Trinity,...

Trump Suggests Using Windmill Cancer Treatments to Fight Coronavirus

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For several days, and even a few weeks, President Donald Trump...

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If I Don’t Have a Biden Flag, Biden Shoes, or Biden Bible, Am I Really Voting for Biden?

PROF. McTERRY: And who won the election? JAMES: Well, I don't fuck my cousin, so I know...

I Asked a Klansman If He’s Voting For Biden Since They’re Both Democrats. He Punched Me.

"Man, it's really true what they say about Democrats. They're snowflakes." We all know a...

For Conservatives, Fart Naps Are Quickly Replacing Power Naps

"While some might casually observe the irony in someone who belittles his opponent as...

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...