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Centers for Disease Control

Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
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Science & Medicine

She Just Got Her GED, But She Knows Fauci Doesn’t Know What He’s Talking About

"I wear this 45 hat everywhere I go for two reasons -- loyalty to Trump and to remind people that your IQ doesn't define how intelligent you am." - Rep. Lauren Boebert (Q-CO)
Science & Medicine

CDC Warns Libertarians: There Is No Nerd Immunity from COVID-19

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The Centers for Disease Control has issued an urgent warning to...
Science & Medicine

CDC Says to Stop Licking Surfaces Clean Like Cats

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Doctors at the Centers for Disease Control are strongly urging everyone...
MAGA News

CDC Suggests ‘Electoral Distancing’ From Trump Administration

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- Over the past week and a half, Americans were introduced to...
Science & Medicine

CDC Reminder: Also Sanitize Your Butt Plugs When There’s No Pandemic

ATLANTA, GEORGIA --Authorities at the Centers for Disease Control have issued a new statement...
MAGA News

CDC Wants Trump Supporters to Stop Sharing Hoods

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In what has been one of the busiest and most critical...
Science & Medicine

CDC Suggests Couples Start Using “Just the Tip”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In order to help minimize the spread of the novel coronavirus,...
Science & Medicine

CDC Recommends Washing Hands For At Least As Long As It Takes For You To Masturbate

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Centers for Disease Control have issued a fresh new set...
MAGA News

CDC Recommends Americans Quarantine Themselves From President Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. --  The Centers for Disease Control issued new guidance this morning, urging...
Science & Medicine

CDC Issues Guidelines for Safe Handjobs During Coronavirus Outbreak

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Centers for Disease Control issued a new set of guidelines...
Science & Medicine

CDC Adds “Giant Orange Douchebag,” “GFY,” and “No” To Their Official Lexicon

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This weekend, word broke that the Health and Human Services department...

Latest articles

Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...

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