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2020 election

Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
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MAGA News

OP-ED: What Do You Mean There Are Consequences for Supporting Corrupt, Incompetent Asshole Bullies?

The following is a reader-submitted editorial from Kevin Riccilumbo, a reader from New Fucnut,...
U.S. Politics

A Handy Guide for Determining How Many of the Votes to Count in a Close Election

Democracy, so confusing, am I right? There are so many intricate levels to running...
MAGA News

Votes and Math Really Starting to Piss Donald Trump Off

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There are two things that sources say are roiling President Donald...
U.S. Politics

Trump Asks If It’s Too Late to Run Election on “Golf Scoring”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump is clearly rattled, and it would appear he...
The Democrats

Super-Liberal Can’t Support First Multiracial Female VP Candidate With Identical Voting Record as Bernie Sanders

LOS IDEALOGAS PURISTAS, CALIFORNIA -- 42 year old Shaun Martino considers himself "the most...
U.S. Politics

That Time When Obama Suggested Delaying the Election and Republicans Were All Like, “Cool.”

This morning, shocking absolutely no one really, President Donald Trump -- flagging in the...
MAGA News

Incoherent Idiot Wastes Hour of Everyone’s Life Reminding Them Why They Should Vote for Biden

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a nearly hour-long, oftentimes rambling, mostly incoherent rant, a massive...
MAGA News

Barr Says Presidents Can Ignore Election Results They Don’t Agree With

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General William Barr, in an interview with Slimebag Fascist Enabling Toady...
U.S. Politics

DNC Encourages Trump Supporters to Boycott Elections With Mail-in Ballots

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Democratic National Committee is urging Trump supporters who don't feel...
MAGA News

Trump Warns His Enemies May Attempt ‘Electoral Coup’ on Him By Voting for His Opponent

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The 2020 presidential election is now less than six months away...
MAGA News

Pundit Who Spent 35 Years Turning GOP Into Cult Trump Could Exploit Has Advice On Democratic Nominee

For thirty-five years, William G. Williamson has written op-ed columns for various conservative outlets....
U.S. Politics

Progressive Voter Would Rather Have Another Trump Term Than an Imperfectly Progressive Candidate

NEARSIGHTED VALLEY, MICHIGAN -- 42 year old John Jacobson considers himself a progressive voter....
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Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)