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2016 presidential election

Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
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U.S. Politics

Bernie Sanders Gives Speech Hillary ‘Plans to Crib From Heavily’

Bernie Sanders gave a rousing speech to start his presidential campaign, which excites Team Hillary...to have something to copy from.
U.S. Politics

“My Name is Rick Santorum, and Here’s Why I Am Frothing to Be Your President”

Rick Santorum wants to be president really badly, and he even told us all why.
U.S. Politics

What These 2016 Presidential Hopefuls Would Do For a Klondike Bar

We asked ten 2016 presidential hopefuls a very important question.
Science & Medicine

Rand Paul: ‘Universal Health Care Means Doctors Are Well-Paid Slaves!’

Rand Paul doesn't believe in Universal Health Care, partially because he has no clue what slavery is or was.
U.S. Politics

Lindsey Graham: ‘Don’t Count Me Out From Coming In From Behind and Surprising You!’

Is he or isn't he...running for president? Lindsey Graham is such a tease!
U.S. Politics

Sarah Palin: ‘The Time Is Right, and Americans Are Just Dumb Enough to Elect Me!’

Sarah Palin gave a speech recently. She believes Americans are dumb enough to vote for her, and gave several reasons why.
U.S. Politics

Jeb Bush Asks Incredible Hulk To Advise His Campaign on ‘Gently Tickling People’

Jeb Bush wasn't done making nonsensical hires when he appointed his brother Dubya as one of his foreign policy advisers.
U.S. Politics

“Why God Chose Me To Be Your Next President” by Michael Huckabee

Official 2016 Republican candidate Mike Huckabee pens this essay on why he's the Chosen One.
U.S. Politics

Ben Carson: ‘F**k Mike Huckabee, I’m the Religious Nuts’ Candidate!’

Dr. Ben Carson wants the world to know he can be just as religiously crazy as Mike Huckabee.
U.S. Politics

Hillary Clinton Hoping to Still Be Able to Steal Bernie Sanders’ Rhetoric Now That He’s Running Too

Can Hillary steal Bernie Sanders' mojo if Bernie Sanders is actually running against her?
Arts & Entertainment

5 Things Ted Cruz Hated About the “Star Wars” Trailer

Senator Ted Cruz tells The Political Garbage Chute five things he did NOT like about the new Star Wars trailer.
U.S. Politics

Hillary on 2016: “I’m the ‘Not a Republican’ The Country Wants”

Hillary Clinton is out and about, extolling the virtues of her candidacy.
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Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)