Reality Winner Released from Prison While Reality Denier Still Not President

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In 2018, Reality Winner was sentenced to five years in prison for, as an NSA contractor, leaking information on Russian hacking attempts to the media. It was one of the most high-profile cases handled by the Department of Justice during the last several years. Winner was, effectively, punished for giving information to the press about attacks on American sovereignty by a foreign, adversarial nation. Today, after serving around three years of her sentence, Reality Winner was released from federal prison early.

In a statement, Winner’s legal team announced her early release.

“I am thrilled to announce that Reality Winner has been released from prison,” Alison Grinter Allen, her lawyer, said in a statement posted on Twitter.

“We are relieved and hopeful,” she wrote. “Her release is not a product of the pardon or compassionate release process, but rather time earned from exemplary behavior while incarcerated.” (NBC News)

While Reality Winner has been given some good news, the reality denier that did not commute her sentence during his single presidential term did not.

Local Crybaby Moron Still Thinks He’s Going to be President in August

“We can confirm that as of this moment, Donald J. Trump is still the former twice-impeached president,” the White House Office of Knowing Who is Currently President told us in an emailed response to our inquiry. “We have confirmed this by making sure we are still living in the present day, in what is accepted to be reality.”

It’s not just our own reality in which Trump is not president, according to the OKWCP.

“However, we can also confirm that there is no alternate reality or alternative timeline in which Donald Trump is president,” the statement asserts. “There isn’t a single reality in which being a total fuckbag will get you get re-hired. Unless your name is Tom Brady.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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