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Biden Campaign Asks Jonathan Swan to Debate Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Joe Biden 2020 campaign has reportedly reached out to Axios reporter Jonathan Swan with a quite unusual and unprecedented offer.
MORE:...
Absolute Moron Makes Up Shit About Mail-In Voting
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A bloviating, mentally deteriorating, egomaniacal, white collar criminal -- who also happens to theoretically hold the power to start a nuclear...
Trump Asks Barr If Democrats Can Be Stripped of Their Citizenship
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Poll after poll is starting to paint a grim, dismal picture of this fall for President Donald Trump's re-election bid. While...
Tic Tac Cock Puts Off Banning App TikTok
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A man with a reportedly very small penis has decided that he will not pursue banning social media app TikTok for...
Trump: “All The Voices In My Head Agree With Me That The Election Will...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's one of the least well-kept secrets in D.C. -- President Donald Trump doesn't want the majority of Americans voting by...
Satan Regrets Not Jerking Off In Time To Save Herman Cain’s Life
HELL -- Former Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain has died, having lost his month-long battle with COVID-19. Cain, who rose to national prominence in...
That Time When Obama Suggested Delaying the Election and Republicans Were All Like, “Cool.”
This morning, shocking absolutely no one really, President Donald Trump -- flagging in the polls and still flailing mightily at an attempt to actually...
Trump Supporters Are Flooding WalMart Pharmacies With Demands for Alien DNA
BENTONVILLE, ARKANSAS -- WalMart has announced in a press release today that they are introducing new menu options to their automated pharmacy lines in...
President Retweets Breitbart Article Claiming COVID Can Be Cured with Trump Steaks
Twitter has removed tweets that were retweeted by President Donald Trump this morning. One was a retweet of a video that has come under...
Trump Paid the President of Florida to Take Cognitive Test for Him
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that President Donald Trump attempted to pay someone else to take a recently administered...
